Fear

For some reason, I have been paralyzed by fear. In the past weeks, as my search for a job in China intensified, so did my fear for being cheated. It's strange. I guess that was one of the big reasons why I ended up staying in Japan for two year although I had originally wanted to go to China.

In the past few days, I imagined myself feeling extremely foreign in China. I imagined being very helpless in the classroom and no one there to come to my aid.

This is weird considering I had even less prep when I was going to Japan and I wasn't afraid about going to Japan at all.

The idea of going to China excites me, but having to figure everything out on my own is a bit daunting. I'm a chicken, I know...but I'm wondering if I'll actually end up there this year. Ahhhh....